Thursday, December 17, 2009


Last night I decided was going to be the night that David started his life as a big boy and he was going to give up his button (pacifier). I had been telling him that he need to give his button to Santa for the reindeers. Last night David put his buttons into an envelope, we wrote a note and address it all to Santa. Daddy took it to the post office and we were done.

All was good until it came to bedtime and then the wheels fell off the bus. David started to cry, he wanted his button. I explained that he had put them in the envelope and that we had sent the to Santa. I told him what a big boy he was. David’s reply was “No, I’m not a big boy. I want my button” He cried and screamed for a half hour straight. After 20 mins he stopped asking for his button and started asking for Daddy.

Finally he stopped and went to sleep. He woke several times during the night, crying and frustrated. He didn’t know how to go back to sleep. He didn’t ask for his button, which amazed me. I just keep loving him, and doing my best to help him through this tough, tough lesson.

With the new day, comes a new chapter in his life. He survived the toughest lesson he’s had to learn so far in his short life. I’m so proud of him.

This experience has caused me to think about all the times we hang on to things we’ve out grown or that aren’t good for us just because we don’t want to go through the hard lesson of learning to live without it. How often do we know something isn’t good for us, but because we want it we don’t give it up? I’m praying that when I see an area of my life that needs changing I have the courage to go through the hard night, to be able to come through to the new morning and experience the new life ahead of me.

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

holidays – what’s important?

With less than 10 days till the big day I can’t help but wonder, what’s important?

As a family we’ve recently been hit a number of blows. Financially things are pretty tough. Thankfully my bills are paid, my heat is on, we have food in our cupboard so we are truly blessed in that sense. Why isn’t that enough? Why am I worrying about what gifts I’m going to have for the children? What I’m going to serve for Christmas day? How am I going to be able to send the care package I have to Australia? How am I going to send out my Christmas cards? My car broke down yesterday and the money I had put aside for my daughter’s gifts is now going to be used for a new battery. Not much of a present for her, but something we can’t do without. On top of all that I find out that the bank has charged me overdraft fees because a check I put in the bank didn’t clear until the following day. I might as well have just taken the $20 bills and burnt them.

Through all of this I’m worried, confused, angry, hurt just to name a couple of the feelings and emotions I’ve been feeling. Legitimate feelings & emotions you bet. Now here comes the hard part, choosing to believe that our ever faithful God will be there and will provide what we need. The hardest part is not the believing, not the faith, but the what we need part. Do I need to spend hundreds of dollars on presents that won’t be used, appreciated or even wanted? Do I need to have countless side dishes and choices of meats on Christmas day? No I don’t! What I do need is a filling meal, the love of my family, a warm house, & time with the Lord. What I need is a true appreciation of why we celebrate Christmas. What I need is cuddles from my son and my daughter, time to snuggle with my husband, laughter & giggles that create memories that can’t break or be lost.

I’m truly amazed at my daughter during this time. Since Grandpa’s death she no longer has the opportunity to earn money, yet the small amount she does have she wants to give to me. She choose to give up one of her Christmas gifts so we could go and buy a gift for a little girl off the Angel Tree. She tells me she doesn’t want any presents and that she knows we’re still going to have a good time on Christmas. Now this little 8 year old girl has got it together, far better than her mom. She has faith and she has her priorities all in the right order. What an example she is!

During this holiday season I’m learning that what’s important is taking the time to say Merry Christmas to the frazzled shop clerk, giving up the prized parking space to someone else, taking the time just is absorb the colored lights and the Christmas carols. What’s important can’t be bought in any store and can’t be found under any tree. What’s important is knowing that I have been given the gift of grace. It’s knowing that the birth of a baby changed the world and it changed me. What’s important is knowing that this life is temporary and that I can look forward to a time when I won’t have to worry about anything, where there won’t be any pain, won’t be any tears. All of this because a Father choose to give the greatest gift of all, the gift of His Son, the gift of salvation.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Night Before Christmas

Here is a different version of this wonderful poem -

T’was the night before Christmas and it seemed such a shame,
not a soul mentioned Jesus, our Savior by name.
They talked about Santa, about reindeers and elves
as their dust covered Bibles just lay on the shelves.

The children were watching their late night TV
full of cursing and garbage that they should not see
With ma in her nightie and I on my throne
we thought it quite funny, as our hearts turned to stone.

When out in the yard the dogs started howling
I figured it must be a burglar prowling.
I grabbed up my gun, my ammo and more
and away in a flash headed straight out the door.

Off in the distance the moon shown so brightly
but out in the east the clouds were quite ghastly.
When what to my questioning ears should I hear
but the sound of trumpets so loud and so clear.

The clouds started parting and they started to roll
and it looked just like smoke or an unraveling scroll.
Then came a voice so majestic and strong
that I started to tremble ‘cause I knew I’d done wrong.

Come Joseph, come Matthew, come Luke and come John
Rise Mary, now Martha, Peter and Tom.
Then the earth started shaking with a great roaring sound
and I saw these great souls rise up from the ground.

My heart started pounding and I couldn’t believe
the sight I was seeing, I just wanted to leave.
I shook my head twice and I looked back again
I still saw them flying right up there to meet him.

Then in an instant the dead ceased to rise
so I thought it was over but to my surprise,
a neighbor came screaming from his house down the street
His wife had just vanished as she lay there asleep.

Now the town was in chaos, our neighborhood too,
with so many missing we didn’t know what to do.
The sirens were blaring, as the mothers all cried
I looked up and saw a plane fall from the sky.

Then I looked at my wife and she looked back at me
and we both remembered our newborn baby
As we ran through the house we both started screaming
Lord, don’t let this happen, oh please we’re just dreaming.

When we came to the nursery we searched the whole floor,
we searched through the crib and we searched still some more
but our darling young son was no where in sight
Now we knew that the rapture had happened that night.

As walked through the house we knew what we’d see,
no longer our children watching TV.
With all of the confusion I sat there and pondered
how could God make mistakes; it was all I could wondered.

I went to a church and I gave a full my full tithes,
I never stole things and I never told lies.
Oh, it was then that it happened and it became oh so clear
it isn’t through goodness but what I held dear.

Yes, salvation is one thing that’s easy to gain
It requires forgiveness from the lamb that was slain.
The Father so loved us that He gave us His Son
So whoever believeth, the victory won.

So if you’re alive with a heart full of sin
Remember Jesus is knocking, please let him come in
Yes, the rapture is coming and it may not be long.
What a shame to be left here when our loved ones are gone.

Friday, December 4, 2009

New Chapter

Yesterday, I was told that due to the economy my services would no longer be needed. Now I didn’t work full time nor work a huge amount of hours. My job wasn’t flashy or high profile, but one thing is for sure and that it was important to me and my family.

Yesterday I went through a wide range of emotions from feeling useless, toss aside like a piece of old trash to worrying how I was going to be able to make up for the shortfall. Christmas was coming. How was I going to get the gifts I needed? How was I going to be able to pay the bills that my pay was dedicated to?

This morning is a bright new day. Today is filled with grace and today is filled with promise. Today I realized that even though that chapter of my life was over, today is the start of a brand new chapter. Wow, I’ve got the opportunity to start something new!

I don’t know what God has planned for me, but I do know that it going to be something amazing.

“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Jeremiah 29:11

This morning I have a calm to my spirit that only comes from knowing that someone else is in control. Does this mean I can sit back and do nothing? No it means that I don’t have to worry, but I do have to pray. I do have to listen for directions and I do have to be obedient. I have to still my heart, still the voices in my head and listen for God’s quiet direction. This is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. To place my trust in the unseen takes faith. God has been faithful to me and my family why should I doubt Him now? What right do I have to question the plans He has for me? He created me for a purpose that I am only now just learning about. Each step of faith I take, brings me closer to Him and the path gets clearer. The destination is not in question it’s just the path to get there that disappears from time to time.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Self Control or Over Indulgence

As we head into the holiday period I’m struck again with memories of all the parties I’ve been to where I’ve over indulged just a little too much on the whatever happened to be available. The times where I’ve done things, said things and experienced things I really wished I hadn’t.

I was in my mid-teens when I had my first alcoholic drink. I grew up in a European family where it was normal for us to try it. My sixteenth birthday was spent in ‘celebration’ with my grandmother and my cousin, who was turning 21. Halfway through the afternoon I remember thinking to myself as I looked into my reflection in the bathroom, that I was drunk and that I really wasn’t too impressed with the feeling. I remember helping my cousin out to the car (she at the time was a mother of 4 young children), so her friend could drive her home. She couldn’t walk on her own at least I wasn’t that bad – yet. The afternoon finished with me crawling on all fours to my room to pass out in my bed. The three of us had managed to polish of a bottle of vodka and I’m not sure what else.

After vomiting a couple of times and sleeping the night away I did get up feeling okay. At least I was feeling okay until I smelt breakfast and then my stomach began turning again and I sought the refuge and safety of my room and my bed. This is my first memory of drinking myself to being sick. This was the beginning of a dark, rough road I took for over 15 years.

Both my mother and my grandmother were alcoholics so overindulgence wasn’t new to me. I had witnessed both them during the worst of their drunkenness. From my grandmother’s rage to cleaning up after my mother had vomited on the bedroom floor. Why then did I feel it necessary to do the same thing?

Now I’ve not had an alcoholic drink in roughly 3 years. Firstly I didn’t give up drinking because of overindulgence, but mainly because of my children and because of my position at church. I don’t want you to think that I’m against drinking, what I’m trying to understand is why we choose to take it to the extreme. A glass of wine or beer with dinner is fine, but how often does it stop with just one?

I can remember too many times looking into the mirror and seeing  a stranger. Someone who wasn’t me or at least who I wanted to be. I was lucky that I always remember what had happened, but I always ended up so very sick. The feeling of the room spinning as you lay anywhere you can, isn’t something I wish on anyone. The uncontrollable vomiting, the pounding head, all a result of my own doing and not from some illness – where is the sanity and fun in that?

The morning after realization of what I had done. The shame and guilt all for what? To be seen as one of the boys/girls; to keep up with the ‘in’ crowd; to be someone I’m not. I’ve so many scars from the things I’ve done. Things I’ve done because I didn’t say enough, or no. If I had shown some self control those scars would not be there now.

Over the past few years I’ve discovered that I really don’t need the false confidence you get from a few drinks. I don’t need to become the person who has few inhibitions – inhibitions are good for you. They protect you from unnecessary hurts. They keep you from doing or saying things you don’t need to do or say. Inhibitions are not bad things they are the voice of your conscience, the voice of something higher, something greater of something that wants to protect you, the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Self control isn’t something that should be scoffed at. There is such a negativity surrounding self control. What we really need to do is embrace it, live it, breath it. Self control is what stops us over eating at Thanksgiving, over spending at Christmas or saying something in retaliation to a hurtful act. Self control is something we teach our children when we’re teaching them good eating habits. Self control isn’t something that is limiting, but it is a way of life. Self control leads to a freedom and confidence that is permanent as to the fleeting feeling of pleasure that comes from over indulgence.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Last letter

Today is the National Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. Today we pray and recognize the thousands of people that are imprisoned, tortured, and killed all because they stand firm in the faith and their commitment to Christ.

Our service today was dedicated to those brave individuals. If you didn’t get a chance to be at Cornerstone this morning or catch the live webcast, check out the archives in a couple of days. During the service we were challenge to write our last letter. What do we want to be remembered for? Well here is my Last Letter…….

Dear Friends & Family

Today I write this letter to you to tell you that I’m okay. In fact I’m better than okay, I’ve never been better.

Today I want to tell you that the most important thing in life isn’t life, but obedience to the call. Obedience to Christ is what makes everything worthwhile.

While obedience to Christ can bring ridicule, physical danger or persecution, it will definitely bring a peace and joy to your spirit. Knowing you will be able to hear those words from Christ himself ‘Well done, good and faithful friend’ – I’m so filled with excitment and anticipation.

Dear ones, please know that I’ve made my choice and I rejoice in that.  I pray that you will follow my example. Today is a new day and we have been granted grace and mercy from our Savior. He asks that all we do in return is obey His word, denounce the enemy and rejoice in Him.

My heart sings that you to can live with the knowledge that we have Christ’s love to surround us. Know I love you and I pray for you.

In Christ’s love and truth I stand


Cornerstone FMC

Monday, November 2, 2009



As a parent we want only the best for our children. We want to make sure they have the best education, the sports or arts opportunities we can afford. We wonder will they have my hair or my husband’s? Will they be as tall or short as Grandma? Will they have Uncle Joe’s sense of humor? One thing is for sure -- they will have the burden of our past sins and the sins of our parents and grandparents. What are we going to do for our children’s spiritual life?

We have so many choices to make. What they eat? What the wear? Where they’ll go to school? But do we think about where they’ll worship, what they’ll pray and for whom? Who will they help? Who will help them? Our greatest responsibility as a parent is to make sure we give our children the best spiritual foundation we can, and yet this seems to be the lowest on the list of priorities for many parents. We need to make sure that our children have every opportunity to know God and to fulfill the wonderful, amazing, journey He has planned for them. We need to make sure that we give our children every opportunity to live a life without the struggles and pain that we have experienced due to our mistakes, and the mistakes of our parents and their parents before them.

We want to give our children a spiritual legacy or heritage that’ll be with them for their entire life and the lives of the generations to come. The big question, then, is how do we do that if our heritage is anything be clean? What do we do when our past is filled with pain, brokenness and sin? How do we protect our children from our mistakes and our sins?

The most important thing to accept and to know is that you have control over the generational sins and blessing for your children. You have the power to stop the painful cycle of sin. First, you must accept that you are a sinner and that you need Jesus Christ as your Savior. This is the first step in changing the pattern. You need to recognize that sometimes you are not responsible for the pain that has been in your life. It may have started many generations ago. With each generation the sin/curse becomes more powerful and more painful.

The next and most powerful step in the process of breaking the cycle is probably the hardest and most painful of all. It calls for forgiveness. Sometimes you may need to forgive yourself for the continued cycle, sometimes it will be a grandparent or great grandparent. The main thing is, through prayer and your choice to forgive them of sin you can release the power it holds over you. If you can’t personally face the person, then you need to write it all down, read it out loud, release the power that is being held there.

Satan can’t read your mind or hear your thoughts, but he certainly hears our voice. We need to tell him that we are taking control of this part and all parts of our life. We need to tell him we’re living our life for our Holy Father. We need to tell him that we are turning our back on him and on this part of our life.

There will be times when the temptation is still going to be there. The weakness in that area of your life will always remain, and it will be there for your children. The difference is that now you are aware of it and you can call on the ‘big guns’ when times get tough. Through prayer you’ll have the strength to turn your back on your old way of life. You’ll have a story to share with your children and you’ll be a living example for them. There are no guarantees that they won’t full into sin, but you’ll have laid the foundations of an amazing life for them. You’ll have given them an opportunity that otherwise would have been so much harder for them to receive.

God, the angels and all of the heavens are ready to go into battle for you. You don’t have to do this alone, but you do have to make the decision to start and to make the decision to call them into action.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Recently I’ve been struck by how hard it can be to be consistent.

I mean consistency, what does it really mean? The dictionary definition is:

  • steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.
  • the condition of cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness.
  • agreement, harmony, or compatibility, esp. correspondence or uniformity among the parts of a complex thing.
  • a degree of density, firmness, viscosity, etc.

So basically to be consistent we have to stand by what we say. When we tell our kids ‘don’t lie’ we can’t been seen to lie. That means when that person calls us on the phone that we don’t want to speak to, we don’t tell our spouse to tell them we’re not home. When we tell our kids its wrong to do drugs or to drink, we can’t been seen to go out and party.

Consistency makes right and wrong very clear. Consistency makes our life black and white – there is no gray.

How do we learn to be consistent? Well we’ve actually been given a guideline and map or manual as you will, we call it the Bible. God gave us very clear guidelines to live by. He made things easy for us. We’re the ones that make it difficult. We try to change the rules and make them for ourselves, unfortunately that doesn’t make them right.

Over the past few years it has become very evident to me that I need to live my life with consistency. I have to do what I say and say what I do. That’s not always easy, in fact sometimes its down right hard, but I’m trying. When I stumble, I pick myself up and I try again. I surround myself with people who love me enough to tell me when I’m being consistent. I keep pushing forward.

Two areas of my life that I struggle with consistency is with my kids and with being open about my faith. I’m at fault at telling my kids ‘no, you can’t’ and then giving in. I’m also at fault at grounding them and then letting them off because they finally did what was asked of them. Does this make me a bad parent? No, just means I need to work a little harder and think a little longer before speaking, before reacting, before giving my answers.

As a Christian do I always stick up for my faith, for my beliefs, for my God? I would love to stay ‘yes’, but unfortunately it’s a ‘no’ Why do I shy away from it, is it because of possible ridicule possibly fear. I’m not sure, but again I’m working on being able to have the right words to have in any situation. I want to be able to have the courage in whatever situation I’m in I’m going to be able to say ‘Hey I’m Christian & I’m proud of it’ I may not have the answers to their questions, but I’m sure they don’t have all the answer to my questions either.

As I walk through life shining my light for Jesus, may I be able to be proud in the fact that I’m being consistent. May I love the sinner and hate the sin. May I be the example I want my children be.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Pass the tissues.

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” Eccesiastes 1:18

Knowledge = Grief, I don’t know if I like that. Does that mean I should just stop growing and learning? I’ve had my fair share of grief, so why would I want more? The answer to that one is easy, because it is my responsibility to learn.

As I grow and learn my eyes are opened to the injustices, to the pain, to the evil in the world. It grieves my heart to see this and I must do something. I must take a stand against the evil.

With my increased knowledge I’m faced with a choice. I can choose to ignore what I see, to turn away from it, to face the darkness or I can choose to shine a light on it and do something about it.

Darkness can’t exist when the light is shed on it. I have a responsibility to let my light shine & let it shine brightly. The closer I get to God the brighter my light & the more darkness I become aware of. The more I learn the more my heart grieves for the lost.

So pass my bible and pass the tissues. But I won’t sit back and just grieve I will fight. I will take a stand and I will make a difference – what about you? Are you sitting in your own little world and ignoring what you see? Are you closing your eyes to the fight? Make a difference. Stand tall. You have the weapons and you have an amazing coach on your side. Its now up to you to choose.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Ecclesiastical Encouragement for Exhausted Moms

This was sent to me by a friend and I just had to share:

"Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest" (Psalm 55:6).
"She took my toy!"
"Watch me write 'pickle' in cursive!"
"Guess how many marshmallows I can fit in my mouth?"
"What do you DO when you're in heaven?"
"Here's a note I forgot to give you last week. It's from my teacher asking you to make a costume for the school program. It's tonight."
"Why does God let those bad guys run around?"
Kids can bewilder parents with their demands for attention, time, energy, moral guidance, and information.
For example, as they grow up, their sense of spirituality begins to sharpen, prompting "out there" questions and a need for a perceptive mom's or dad's eyes and ears. Their emotional maturity on any given day can dramatically tumble from "even-tempered" to "volatile" or "well-adjusted" to "ultra-sensitive," requiring a delicately balanced mixture of tenderness, wisdom, firmness, humor—and an occasional batch of chocolate chip cookies. Their social lives begin to blossom, intruding into time that we used to call our own and often putting us behind the wheel more than we've ever been in our lives. That sparks the need for our flexibility, diplomacy, and tact. And as if that's not enough, the daily news unleashes a deluge of issues that we must decide if/when/how to discuss with our inquisitive young citizens. Questions about education, extracurricular activities, violence, safety, and budding independence make worries about other child-rearing issues like nursing, teething, and diaper rash seem like, well, child's play by comparison.
One morning when I was feeling particularly stressed over these kinds of problems, I grabbed a cup of hot tea and decided to delve into a chapter of the Bible I had never studied in-depth before. I turned to the book of Ecclesiastes, not knowing much about it other than its tranquil tone and the "to everything there is a season" passage. But once I started reading through the chapters, I just knew that God, in His foresight and grace, had designed them just for moms like me who sometimes feel overwhelmed.
Here are some things I learned as I read:
There is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9) How comforting to know that moms all the way back to Eve have gone through all the "stuff" we go through each day—both big and small. Kids throughout the ages have had runny noses, the chicken pox, and worse. They've always teethed, needed to be toilet trained, swallowed things they shouldn't, been rebellious, accidentally broken a neighbor's something-or-other, gotten in trouble at school.
I imagine Eve could give a heart-rending account of her firsthand experience with sibling rivalry and the loss of a child. Jochebed could describe feeling nearly paralyzed with fear for her son. And wouldn't it be grand to talk with Mary about both the worries and the wonders of pregnancy—an unexpected one, at that. So if you're feeling like you don't know how to handle whatever it is you're going through with your own kids, take comfort in the fact that you're not the first! There is nothing new under the sun.
It's not always about "good things." Martha Stewart's trademark comment "it's a good thing" has echoed through thousands of living rooms as many a mom has watched her to derive some domestic inspiration. Lots of times we try to order our world to create a "paradise" within the walls of our homes. We think that making our own jellies, decorating our own gift wrap, growing our own herbs, and throwing the perfect party can be our ticket to an appealing brand of paradise. While none of these actions, in and of themselves, are bad, Ecclesiastes 2 gently points out that nothing we can do can bring us peace. Only a day-by-day, minute-by-minute connection with our heavenly Designer can position us to grab our portion of peace on earth and secure our lavishly decorated room in the heavenly mansion He's lovingly preparing for us, even as we speak.
There's a time for everything. As moms, it's our "time" to do lots of things—and in a relatively short amount of time. So when you're feeling like you're floundering, and you just don't know how to order your "to-do" list as you try to juggle the kids, your marriage, the housework, the volunteer work, etc., here's a prescription for you: Read Ecclesiastes 2 as a medicinal meditation that will give you a sense of life's rhythm and help you maintain some balance as you juggle those priorities.
We have a heart full of eternity. "I'm having a bad day." We've all said that from time to time. To me, yucky days include things like sick kids, broken down cars, a low checking account balance, dismal weather, appliance malfunctions, or extra-ferocious sibling squabbling in the backseat of the car on an errand-packed day. Those are the days that it's easy to lose focus and wish away time by launching into countdowns. "When we get more money..." "When the kids get bigger..." "When baseball season is over..."
But then something usually happens to snap me back into reality. I'll hear Erin warbling "Alleluia" in her toddlerish tones; Lindsey will ask me to pray with her; or I'll catch Nick giving his sister the extra dollar she needs to buy the notebook she wants. Then I realize that I am so grateful for my home, and I'm grateful for the privilege of a minute-by-minute chance to tackle challenges that have eternal significance.
Solomon said that God has set eternity in our hearts—what big cargo for such a humble little boat as me. I have the privilege of not only being able to accept Christ in my own life so that I can tap into that eternity, but also of becoming the God-designed tugboat that He can use to draw my own precious little ones into the kingdom!
Two are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). If you feel the only places you ever see are your home, the church, and the school, seek out a partner. Naturally husbands are pretty terrific partners in parenting. But it's still important to find another friend, better yet, more than one, who can help you negotiate the obstacle course of parenting. My closest friend has kids about the same ages as mine. I wouldn't take a room full of chocolate for the encouragement she's given me as I've whined to her about my busy calendar, my contrary offspring, my day-long morning sickness, my insecurities about new projects I've taken on. Begin praying today that God will lead you to someone who can fill that role and to whom you, in turn, can minister to as well.
These are the days! (Ecclesiastes 9:10) Mothering is a stressful job. There's just no way around that. It's physically demanding, and it takes us on a roller coaster ride of emotions. The kicker is that while we're doing it we're expected to carry out an endless number of additional roles: Wife, daughter, friend, church member, soccer coach, parent-teacher volunteer, informed citizen, cautious consumer...But when you're feeling overwhelmed, just take a few minutes and meditate on these verses. It's a love letter from God! It encourages us to seize life's opportunities and use them to the fullest in serving Him! Doesn't that help put things in perspective?

by Angie Peters

Monday, April 13, 2009


During the past 40 something days I've learnt a lot about sacrifice. For Lent I fasted from meat and Paul fasted from all solid food totally. Now I thought this was going to be easy since I don't eat too much meat, but I was in for a shock. You are bombarded with food all of the place. Watching television or listening to the radio is a consistent reminder of what you have chosen to abstain from. Now it was certainly easier for me than for Paul since I was eating some food.

During this time I watched my husband sit through 3 dinner celebration with grace and dignity. At no time did he say 'sorry I can't go there because I can't wait' He went to two restaurants and had soup. Now all he 'ate' was the broth, making sure not to eat any of the goodies in the soup. Our last dinner out was at IHOP and he just had a coffee and a milk shake & this was on Easter Saturday. What an amazing example he set for the children & to me. I never once heard him complain about not eating - he did do an amazing job and I'm very proud of him.

Since being on the fast I've had many, many opportunities to focus on sacrifices made. Not only did I look at the sacrifices I've made over the years as a friend, wife, mother and person, but I've been really thinking about the sacrifices made by my loving Lord and Savior. Jesus not only gave up his life for me. He gave up His power to be a human for me. He choose to give up His relationship with His Father, for me. He willing chose to be physically, emotionally and spiritually beaten. He willing shed His blood all for my freedom. Because of all His sacrifices I have been given forgiveness and redemption - what a gift!!!

As Christians we all know about these sacrifices, but what about the sacrifices made by the disciples. Think about what they gave up to follow Jesus and His teachings. Can you image the ridicule they would have faced, whilst Jesus was alive, but what about during the crucifixion and during those 3 days after He was buried. The fear and disappointment must have been unbelievable. No wonder they hide from the world. How many of us do that? Sometimes we find ourselves in the place where the disciples, we come to Christ, we believe in Christ and then suddenly its seems like He is no longer with us. We worry about what others will say because of our stance.

Mary didn't worry about what others would say, just as soon as she could she ran to the tomb to see her Teacher, her Savior. What did she find...nothing! Image her concern, her pain, her confusion. This on top of all the other things she was feeling! Just think how she felt when she realized Jesus had conquered death, just as He said He would. I don't know if there is anything that would have compared to the excitement, the relief, the joy that she and all the other disciples would have felt when they realized He was back.

We all have the opportunity to share in those feelings. If you don't know Jesus & you accept Him as your savior you'll be filled with such excitement & love. If you're a believer, but feel as if He has left you alone, you have the opportunity of feeling such relief when you realize He hasn't left you.

Sacrifices are so important. They open our eyes and our hearts to what is really important. They help us refocus our lives and energy to where it needs to be. Take a moment to sacrifice something small for awhile and when you feel you can't do without, remember what Jesus gave up for you, remember what is important & remember it isn't about you anymore.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Prayer from A-Z

I read this morning and just had to share it with everyone:

An elderly gentleman passed his granddaughter's room one night and listened in as she repeated the alphabet in an oddly reverent way. He peeked in and asked her, "What on earth are you up to?" She explained,"I'm saying my prayers, but I can't think of exactly the right words tonight, so I'm just saying all the letters. Jesus will put them together for me because he knows what I'm thinking"

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Lights in the Fog

Compliments of Women's Devotional Bible
Have you ever been driving down a road at night when the fog rolled in so thick you couldn't see five feet in front of you? It can be pretty scary. However, if you have a car's taillights ahead of you to guide you, suddenly it is not so frightening.

That is the message of Titus 2. Older women can serve as guiding lights for those coming after them. For many women, juggling all our roles - student, employee, boss, wife, mother - can be overwhelming, like walking through life in a fog. But God never intended for us to figure things out on our own - to simply muddle through. Just as he gave Ruth to Naomi and Mary to Elizabeth, God gives us each other to help, encourage and provide one another with companionship, to share ideas and wisdom and humor. When you live in community with others, you can see how other women raise and nurture their children. You can note how persistence someone is in cultivating and preserving her marriage and how it is serving her well. You can watch as women make their way in the marketplace with dignity and integrity.
It may be that the 'older' woman isn't chronologically older at all. Perhaps God has gifted a younger woman with particular knowledge and wisdom that you might be in need of. We should be open to different generations reaching out to each other and bridging the years with love and laughter. We have more in common than we have differences.

In our day it's easy to become isolated and withdrawn. We don't often get together as women did in the times gone by for quilting bees and church socials and over-the-fence visits. You may long for a woman to mentor you and advise you regarding how to handle your many roles and responsibilities. If so, ask God to send your someone who is wise and supportive. and keep your eyes open for such a woman so you can befriend her. She may need you as much as you need her. Perhaps God is nudging you to become a mentor to a younger woman. Pray that God will lead you to her and that you will have the courage to be a light in the fog.

I read this passage a couple of weeks ago and it really struck a cord with me. As women we need to share our ups and downs with someone who'll understand. We need to surround ourselves with others that love us for who we are and who offer us wisdom and advice when needed along with laughter, tissues and of course chocolate.

I've been blessed this year with the opportunity of having a mentor, who I respect greatly and love dearly. She is an amazing woman who is teaching me not only about myself but that I'm not that different from many women. She's showing me that just because I burn the dinner, don't always wash the dishes and occasionally shout at my husband and kids I'm not a failure as a mother and wife. She is showing and teaching me that just because I don't bring home a wage every week I have value as a person.

Probably one of the biggest things I'm learning is that I have a lot to share with other women and so I've entered into the mentoring program at our church called Transformation. I truly recommend finding yourself someone to relate to, someone to learn from and also someone to share your life knowledge with as well. We teach best what we need to learn, which could be anything from cooking that pot roast, sewing a dress, art of forgiveness or the discipline of a daily walk with the Lord.

One thing I know for sure. If you are given the opportunity to either mentor or be mentored do because your life will never be the same again.

Friday, February 6, 2009


I recently finished reading the book "The Shack", if you haven't had a chance to read it I highly recommend it. What an amazing story and an amazing message. Anyway the book got me thinking about forgiveness. As Christians we are forgiven for our past, present and future sins. Our loving Father sent His son to redeem us, therefore we are forgiven and all is right, right? Wrong!

As humans we have a tendency to hang onto to our sins, guilt, feelings of isolation and negativity. It is almost like if we let go of them, then what we did was excused. Our sins are not excused, they are not forgotten, God just forgives them. There is a huge difference between forgotten and forgiven. We must never forget what we have done, but we do need to forgive ourselves so that our relationship with the Father and others can grow.

One of the hardest lessons I'm trying to learn is to see through our Father's eyes. I'm far too critical of myself and certainly too hard on myself. I forgive others, so why is it so hard to forgive myself when I've done something wrong. Why am I better or worse than everyone else? Why do I think that I'm being held to a higher standard than everyone else? Am I trying to say that I'm better than the next person? God loves us all the same. There is the same standard for everyone. All sins are the same, no matter how big or how small they break the relationship we have with God and therefore are of equal value. If He can forgive me, again why do I have such a hard time forgiving me?

When we forgive our sins we release the guilt that is associated with that action and we open ourselves to positive growth. We are given opportunities to use our past actions to help others, to guide our future decisions. Forgiven sins bring a new understanding of ourselves, of who we are and of who we want to become. It gives us a benchmark for future actions, if we are to grow.

With all that said do I still feel guilty about some of my actions and sins - yep. Do I still have difficulty in forgiving myself for my actions and sins, not all of them, but definitely some. Do I know better than God what is good for me? No, but I am human and with His grace I'm working on forgiving me just as He has forgiven me and as He has forgiven all of us.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Happy New Year

Well 2008 is over and 2009 has begun. I've spent the past couple of days thinking about all the changes that have happened during this past year and boy have we had a few. The most important thing that I learnt from 2008 is that perception and choice is what make or break a year, not that actual events.

During 2008 my walk with the Lord became stronger and more deliberate so I chose to accept the good with the bad and I chose to embrace all the year had to offer. I was given an amazing gift, but the price was the loss of a loved one. I was given the gift of my sister visiting, the price was saying good-bye. I was given the gift of quiet time, the price was being lonely sometimes. I was given the opportunity of re-pledging my love and devotion to my husband and family, the price is that I'm not the center anymore they are. What an amazing year of learning it has been.

2009 is going to be just as amazing. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, but I'm ready to tackle it all. I'm sure there is going to be times of pain, tears and sorrow. I'm just as sure that the laughter, love and joy will out shadow it all if I let it.

I'm still thinking about my goals for this new year and the future. I've failed at reaching so many goals that I'm reluctant to commit to them. Maybe that should be my first and main goal this year, to commit to keeping & making the goal - that's a thought. I know that today isn't the day to make decisions as I'm feeling flat and am missing my sister. She left almost a week ago, but I've had Paul at home with me and today he has gone off to work. Today is the first day that I'm home with the kids by myself and I'm missing that adult companionship. I'll get through this like I was do, but frankly I'm enjoying just wallowing for a bit. I think I'll grab both my kids and thank the Lord for them, then I'm going to pick up the phone and make a call. I've errands to run today so I don't have time to wallow for too long and that's not really my thing, just a small indulgence this morning.

My motto for this year:
It'll be fine in 2009