Thursday, December 17, 2009


Last night I decided was going to be the night that David started his life as a big boy and he was going to give up his button (pacifier). I had been telling him that he need to give his button to Santa for the reindeers. Last night David put his buttons into an envelope, we wrote a note and address it all to Santa. Daddy took it to the post office and we were done.

All was good until it came to bedtime and then the wheels fell off the bus. David started to cry, he wanted his button. I explained that he had put them in the envelope and that we had sent the to Santa. I told him what a big boy he was. David’s reply was “No, I’m not a big boy. I want my button” He cried and screamed for a half hour straight. After 20 mins he stopped asking for his button and started asking for Daddy.

Finally he stopped and went to sleep. He woke several times during the night, crying and frustrated. He didn’t know how to go back to sleep. He didn’t ask for his button, which amazed me. I just keep loving him, and doing my best to help him through this tough, tough lesson.

With the new day, comes a new chapter in his life. He survived the toughest lesson he’s had to learn so far in his short life. I’m so proud of him.

This experience has caused me to think about all the times we hang on to things we’ve out grown or that aren’t good for us just because we don’t want to go through the hard lesson of learning to live without it. How often do we know something isn’t good for us, but because we want it we don’t give it up? I’m praying that when I see an area of my life that needs changing I have the courage to go through the hard night, to be able to come through to the new morning and experience the new life ahead of me.

Technorati Tags: ,

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

holidays – what’s important?

With less than 10 days till the big day I can’t help but wonder, what’s important?

As a family we’ve recently been hit a number of blows. Financially things are pretty tough. Thankfully my bills are paid, my heat is on, we have food in our cupboard so we are truly blessed in that sense. Why isn’t that enough? Why am I worrying about what gifts I’m going to have for the children? What I’m going to serve for Christmas day? How am I going to be able to send the care package I have to Australia? How am I going to send out my Christmas cards? My car broke down yesterday and the money I had put aside for my daughter’s gifts is now going to be used for a new battery. Not much of a present for her, but something we can’t do without. On top of all that I find out that the bank has charged me overdraft fees because a check I put in the bank didn’t clear until the following day. I might as well have just taken the $20 bills and burnt them.

Through all of this I’m worried, confused, angry, hurt just to name a couple of the feelings and emotions I’ve been feeling. Legitimate feelings & emotions you bet. Now here comes the hard part, choosing to believe that our ever faithful God will be there and will provide what we need. The hardest part is not the believing, not the faith, but the what we need part. Do I need to spend hundreds of dollars on presents that won’t be used, appreciated or even wanted? Do I need to have countless side dishes and choices of meats on Christmas day? No I don’t! What I do need is a filling meal, the love of my family, a warm house, & time with the Lord. What I need is a true appreciation of why we celebrate Christmas. What I need is cuddles from my son and my daughter, time to snuggle with my husband, laughter & giggles that create memories that can’t break or be lost.

I’m truly amazed at my daughter during this time. Since Grandpa’s death she no longer has the opportunity to earn money, yet the small amount she does have she wants to give to me. She choose to give up one of her Christmas gifts so we could go and buy a gift for a little girl off the Angel Tree. She tells me she doesn’t want any presents and that she knows we’re still going to have a good time on Christmas. Now this little 8 year old girl has got it together, far better than her mom. She has faith and she has her priorities all in the right order. What an example she is!

During this holiday season I’m learning that what’s important is taking the time to say Merry Christmas to the frazzled shop clerk, giving up the prized parking space to someone else, taking the time just is absorb the colored lights and the Christmas carols. What’s important can’t be bought in any store and can’t be found under any tree. What’s important is knowing that I have been given the gift of grace. It’s knowing that the birth of a baby changed the world and it changed me. What’s important is knowing that this life is temporary and that I can look forward to a time when I won’t have to worry about anything, where there won’t be any pain, won’t be any tears. All of this because a Father choose to give the greatest gift of all, the gift of His Son, the gift of salvation.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Night Before Christmas

Here is a different version of this wonderful poem -

T’was the night before Christmas and it seemed such a shame,
not a soul mentioned Jesus, our Savior by name.
They talked about Santa, about reindeers and elves
as their dust covered Bibles just lay on the shelves.

The children were watching their late night TV
full of cursing and garbage that they should not see
With ma in her nightie and I on my throne
we thought it quite funny, as our hearts turned to stone.

When out in the yard the dogs started howling
I figured it must be a burglar prowling.
I grabbed up my gun, my ammo and more
and away in a flash headed straight out the door.

Off in the distance the moon shown so brightly
but out in the east the clouds were quite ghastly.
When what to my questioning ears should I hear
but the sound of trumpets so loud and so clear.

The clouds started parting and they started to roll
and it looked just like smoke or an unraveling scroll.
Then came a voice so majestic and strong
that I started to tremble ‘cause I knew I’d done wrong.

Come Joseph, come Matthew, come Luke and come John
Rise Mary, now Martha, Peter and Tom.
Then the earth started shaking with a great roaring sound
and I saw these great souls rise up from the ground.

My heart started pounding and I couldn’t believe
the sight I was seeing, I just wanted to leave.
I shook my head twice and I looked back again
I still saw them flying right up there to meet him.

Then in an instant the dead ceased to rise
so I thought it was over but to my surprise,
a neighbor came screaming from his house down the street
His wife had just vanished as she lay there asleep.

Now the town was in chaos, our neighborhood too,
with so many missing we didn’t know what to do.
The sirens were blaring, as the mothers all cried
I looked up and saw a plane fall from the sky.

Then I looked at my wife and she looked back at me
and we both remembered our newborn baby
As we ran through the house we both started screaming
Lord, don’t let this happen, oh please we’re just dreaming.

When we came to the nursery we searched the whole floor,
we searched through the crib and we searched still some more
but our darling young son was no where in sight
Now we knew that the rapture had happened that night.

As walked through the house we knew what we’d see,
no longer our children watching TV.
With all of the confusion I sat there and pondered
how could God make mistakes; it was all I could wondered.

I went to a church and I gave a full my full tithes,
I never stole things and I never told lies.
Oh, it was then that it happened and it became oh so clear
it isn’t through goodness but what I held dear.

Yes, salvation is one thing that’s easy to gain
It requires forgiveness from the lamb that was slain.
The Father so loved us that He gave us His Son
So whoever believeth, the victory won.

So if you’re alive with a heart full of sin
Remember Jesus is knocking, please let him come in
Yes, the rapture is coming and it may not be long.
What a shame to be left here when our loved ones are gone.

Friday, December 4, 2009

New Chapter

Yesterday, I was told that due to the economy my services would no longer be needed. Now I didn’t work full time nor work a huge amount of hours. My job wasn’t flashy or high profile, but one thing is for sure and that it was important to me and my family.

Yesterday I went through a wide range of emotions from feeling useless, toss aside like a piece of old trash to worrying how I was going to be able to make up for the shortfall. Christmas was coming. How was I going to get the gifts I needed? How was I going to be able to pay the bills that my pay was dedicated to?

This morning is a bright new day. Today is filled with grace and today is filled with promise. Today I realized that even though that chapter of my life was over, today is the start of a brand new chapter. Wow, I’ve got the opportunity to start something new!

I don’t know what God has planned for me, but I do know that it going to be something amazing.

“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Jeremiah 29:11

This morning I have a calm to my spirit that only comes from knowing that someone else is in control. Does this mean I can sit back and do nothing? No it means that I don’t have to worry, but I do have to pray. I do have to listen for directions and I do have to be obedient. I have to still my heart, still the voices in my head and listen for God’s quiet direction. This is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. To place my trust in the unseen takes faith. God has been faithful to me and my family why should I doubt Him now? What right do I have to question the plans He has for me? He created me for a purpose that I am only now just learning about. Each step of faith I take, brings me closer to Him and the path gets clearer. The destination is not in question it’s just the path to get there that disappears from time to time.