Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Selfishness vs Serving

Lately I've been struggling with those small persistent voices that tell you that you deserve something. Those small voices that say, 'hey you've put in your hours, you deserve a break. You're fair and this is owed to you' I'm sure you know the voices I'm talking about. On Saturday morning I actually listened to those voices and started focusing on myself and not on someone very dear and special to me. I placed myself first and this person second.

Do you know what happened????

We fought!!!! We yelled!!!! I cried and experienced pain and more importantly I caused pain to others as well.

I stopped and I could feel the Lord talk to me. He told very gently this wasn't the way He wanted things to be. He made us to love and to serve. He hurt because we hurt. He held me and I realized that I was wrong and that the most important thing I could do was to put this person before me. Now this person wasn't just anyone. I had made a commitment to this person almost 10 years ago. That commitment was to love & honor this person placing him above all else. This was my husband. I had hurt him and my children by placing myself first.

There were 2 good things to come from all of this. The first and was the touch from the Holy Spirit which showed me how wrong I was and the other was the teaching moment I got with my daughter. She was very worried about us because we don't normally fight like that. I was able to use the moment to show her that as grown ups we goof up. I was able to show her that the very first thing I did was I prayed and I was able to show her how important was to listen to God and the Holy Spirit when they talk. I showed her that she is still loved and mommy & daddy still love each other and her.

I used this time to teach her that when we place ourselves first, arguments and fights happen. I explained that if I had been focused on Daddy's needs then the yelling probably wouldn't have happened. The truth of the matter is that you can't fight with someone when you are trying to serve them and have their needs above your own.

He answered: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Luke 10:27 (NIV)

This wasn't given to us as an occasional thing. We aren't supposed to pick and choose who we love. The scripture says your neighbor and that doesn't just mean the guy next door. It means everyone, the stinky homeless man, the bratty kids, the nosy lady next door. So if it is important to love a stranger, how much more important is it to place the person you've agreed and committed to live your life with.

Oh the importance of serving. It stretches like the ripple effect throughout our lives. I've learnt that it brings a peace and joy to your heart and I pray that I continue to grow in this area. Who knows maybe one day I'll actually get it right all the time, but until then I'll just keep trying.

1 comment:

Brenda Grace Mason Young said...

Wow---I admire your opennes, vulnerability, and your growth in Jesus. That was great, Larissa.