On Sunday 29, my father-in-law better known as Dad went home to the Lord. Now I've been caring for him since his first serious hospital stay in 2002 when we almost lost him due to a ruptured ulcer and heart problems. Since them we've had many, many arguments about his diet, his exercise or lack of it, his medicines, but we've also had many times of laughter and happiness. What a journey it has been!
I've so many memories and I'm so thankful for that. I've learnt that no matter how hard things seem, as long as I lean on God there is nothing that I can't do. I've learnt that it just isn't worth sweating the small stuff. Mind you I still struggle with this one, but I'm slowly getting the message.
I think the most important thing I've learnt just in the past couple of days is that there is truly joy in the passing of a loved one. Now don't get me wrong I struggle with grief and tears, but I have a peace in my heart and yes there is joy and happiness there too. I'm so thankful Dad has gone home, because now he is truly free from all the pain, hurt and limitations of this life. It was so hard to see dad struggle with his failing mind in those last couple of days and I now know that that isn't an issue any more. He is whole, complete and just waiting for us all to join him in heaven.
So today as I get ready to go away for a day or two on my road trip I realize that I've started a new chapter of my life. I need to concentrate on what's important and let go of what's not. I need to let go of the guilt I'm feeling and embrace my new freedom because this is a gift the Lord has given me and I don't want to squander it. I don't know how this chapter of my life is going to go, or what is going to fill the pages, but I'm going to be thankful for whatever happens. I'm going to focus on God, on my husband and on my family. When it gets so hard I can't stand it, I'm going to kneel and pray because God does answer prays. God is faithful. God is loving. Look at the good things He has given me.