Saturday, July 12, 2008


Freedom is a word that generally brings to mind war, fighting, our troops and things of that natural. Well over the past couple of weeks freedom has come to mean a whole new thing to me. The one thing that has struck me the most is no matter what freedom you talk about, freedom is not free, freedom comes with a great price.

I've recently been given the gift of freedom, but the price I and my family paid was huge. For my freedom Dad had to go home to the Lord. Now I know that he is much better off, my goodness he is dining with Jesus and dancing with his wife who wouldn't want that. For me I've lost a huge chuck of my life. As Dad's primary care giver I was with him the most, did most things for him and I miss him. We fought all the time, shouted and argued, but we loved and laughed too. To see him with my kids was something I'm going to treasure all my days. To know that David isn't going to remember him breaks my heart. For me this is the price of my freedom.

The price for my freedom is trying to make finances stretch further than ever before. Its knowing that I won't have to worry about Grandpa giving out candy to the kids at 8 am in the morning. Its knowing that I don't have to worry about them eating too many snacks while sitting and watching television with Grandpa. Its knowing that the house is emptying when we leave and that there will be no light, no television, nobody sitting up in bed waiting when we get home. Its knowing that there isn't someone waiting to ask Ellie if she won her softball game, or if she had fun at her outing. Freedom for me is knowing that there isn't someone waiting to beam with pride when he hears of one of Paul's accomplishments or when he hears Paul sing. Freedom for me is the pain in my heart as I watch my husband come to terms with the loss.

Freedom is definitely something that is a joy and a gift. I didn't have a choice in whether I wanted it or not as my freedom is a gift from God. What I do with it is my choice. How I embrace it is my choice. The adjustment is hard and I'm struggling through it. A dear dear person died to give me my freedom. He didn't die in a war, but at home after an illness, but still he had to go home for me to have the freedom I now enjoy.

No matter what freedom we have we MUST be thankful for it, we MUST embrace it, we MUST enjoy it and yes we MUST pay the price. We must never forget the price or the sacrifices made.

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