I recently finished reading the book "The Shack", if you haven't had a chance to read it I highly recommend it. What an amazing story and an amazing message. Anyway the book got me thinking about forgiveness. As Christians we are forgiven for our past, present and future sins. Our loving Father sent His son to redeem us, therefore we are forgiven and all is right, right? Wrong!
As humans we have a tendency to hang onto to our sins, guilt, feelings of isolation and negativity. It is almost like if we let go of them, then what we did was excused. Our sins are not excused, they are not forgotten, God just forgives them. There is a huge difference between forgotten and forgiven. We must never forget what we have done, but we do need to forgive ourselves so that our relationship with the Father and others can grow.
One of the hardest lessons I'm trying to learn is to see through our Father's eyes. I'm far too critical of myself and certainly too hard on myself. I forgive others, so why is it so hard to forgive myself when I've done something wrong. Why am I better or worse than everyone else? Why do I think that I'm being held to a higher standard than everyone else? Am I trying to say that I'm better than the next person? God loves us all the same. There is the same standard for everyone. All sins are the same, no matter how big or how small they break the relationship we have with God and therefore are of equal value. If He can forgive me, again why do I have such a hard time forgiving me?
When we forgive our sins we release the guilt that is associated with that action and we open ourselves to positive growth. We are given opportunities to use our past actions to help others, to guide our future decisions. Forgiven sins bring a new understanding of ourselves, of who we are and of who we want to become. It gives us a benchmark for future actions, if we are to grow.
With all that said do I still feel guilty about some of my actions and sins - yep. Do I still have difficulty in forgiving myself for my actions and sins, not all of them, but definitely some. Do I know better than God what is good for me? No, but I am human and with His grace I'm working on forgiving me just as He has forgiven me and as He has forgiven all of us.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Happy New Year
Well 2008 is over and 2009 has begun. I've spent the past couple of days thinking about all the changes that have happened during this past year and boy have we had a few. The most important thing that I learnt from 2008 is that perception and choice is what make or break a year, not that actual events.
During 2008 my walk with the Lord became stronger and more deliberate so I chose to accept the good with the bad and I chose to embrace all the year had to offer. I was given an amazing gift, but the price was the loss of a loved one. I was given the gift of my sister visiting, the price was saying good-bye. I was given the gift of quiet time, the price was being lonely sometimes. I was given the opportunity of re-pledging my love and devotion to my husband and family, the price is that I'm not the center anymore they are. What an amazing year of learning it has been.
2009 is going to be just as amazing. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, but I'm ready to tackle it all. I'm sure there is going to be times of pain, tears and sorrow. I'm just as sure that the laughter, love and joy will out shadow it all if I let it.
I'm still thinking about my goals for this new year and the future. I've failed at reaching so many goals that I'm reluctant to commit to them. Maybe that should be my first and main goal this year, to commit to keeping & making the goal - that's a thought. I know that today isn't the day to make decisions as I'm feeling flat and am missing my sister. She left almost a week ago, but I've had Paul at home with me and today he has gone off to work. Today is the first day that I'm home with the kids by myself and I'm missing that adult companionship. I'll get through this like I was do, but frankly I'm enjoying just wallowing for a bit. I think I'll grab both my kids and thank the Lord for them, then I'm going to pick up the phone and make a call. I've errands to run today so I don't have time to wallow for too long and that's not really my thing, just a small indulgence this morning.
My motto for this year:
During 2008 my walk with the Lord became stronger and more deliberate so I chose to accept the good with the bad and I chose to embrace all the year had to offer. I was given an amazing gift, but the price was the loss of a loved one. I was given the gift of my sister visiting, the price was saying good-bye. I was given the gift of quiet time, the price was being lonely sometimes. I was given the opportunity of re-pledging my love and devotion to my husband and family, the price is that I'm not the center anymore they are. What an amazing year of learning it has been.
2009 is going to be just as amazing. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, but I'm ready to tackle it all. I'm sure there is going to be times of pain, tears and sorrow. I'm just as sure that the laughter, love and joy will out shadow it all if I let it.
I'm still thinking about my goals for this new year and the future. I've failed at reaching so many goals that I'm reluctant to commit to them. Maybe that should be my first and main goal this year, to commit to keeping & making the goal - that's a thought. I know that today isn't the day to make decisions as I'm feeling flat and am missing my sister. She left almost a week ago, but I've had Paul at home with me and today he has gone off to work. Today is the first day that I'm home with the kids by myself and I'm missing that adult companionship. I'll get through this like I was do, but frankly I'm enjoying just wallowing for a bit. I think I'll grab both my kids and thank the Lord for them, then I'm going to pick up the phone and make a call. I've errands to run today so I don't have time to wallow for too long and that's not really my thing, just a small indulgence this morning.
My motto for this year:
It'll be fine in 2009
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Full of Joy
I'm coming to your now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within in them. John 17:13
"I'd make more mistakes next time", said 85-year-old Nadine Stair when asked what she would do if she had her life to live over again. "I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them, In fact, I'd try to have nothing else - just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those person who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle and a raincoat. If I had to do it over again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances, I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies."
In his final prayer, Jesus prayed that his disciples would experience the full measure of his joy-now. He prayed for us to have his joy in the middle of rush-hour traffic, screaming kids and a darkening world. He doesn't want us to wait for heaven to be full of you.
Jesus' joy has a divine purpose: to real him. He desires to fill us with overflowing joy, to proclaim his victory to the world over life's worst conditions-even in the face of hurricanes, plagues, terrorism and nuclear disaster.
But as Nadine tells us, joy flows from a foundation of truth. so many times we focus on imaginary troubles. But Jesus reminds us that joy comes from knowing the Father through the son. as you reflect on your life, whether you're 18, 38, 48 or 88, choose to live in fullness of you by taking the time to pick more daisies....and by living each moment fully aware of God's love for you.
This was my devotion today from the Women's Devotional Bible - I had to share as it really touched me. Well I'm off to take my shoes off.....
Monday, November 3, 2008
Halloween
Well another Halloween has come and gone, but I still have the candy to show for it - lol.
Helen had a great time this year deciding to dress up as a Mad Scientist - yep her idea not mine.
David just loved being Spiderman. He loves it so much, we're still wearing the costume.
Halloween is a great time not only for dressing up and getting candy, but for talking to our kids about the evil in our world and about Satan. I had a great talk with Helen about what was acceptable in our family and in the eyes of God and what wasn't. I was able to talk about Satan and how he attacks us all through the year not just on one specific day and how as children of God we have nothing to fear from him.
Helen had a great time this year deciding to dress up as a Mad Scientist - yep her idea not mine.
David just loved being Spiderman. He loves it so much, we're still wearing the costume.
Halloween is a great time not only for dressing up and getting candy, but for talking to our kids about the evil in our world and about Satan. I had a great talk with Helen about what was acceptable in our family and in the eyes of God and what wasn't. I was able to talk about Satan and how he attacks us all through the year not just on one specific day and how as children of God we have nothing to fear from him.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Counting Down
Okay there are officially 29 days to go before my sister gets here and I'm starting to get excited. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas, but this year will be extra special because I'll have her here celebrating with us. I've not had any of my family here for the holidays and the last time I spent Christmas with them was in 2000 so I'm sure you can see why I'm exited.
We've got so much catching up to do and so much to put into 36 days that it is certainly going to be run, run, run. She has never met David so this is going to be fun and basically we're trying to put 4 years into those 36 days. It has been 2 years since I've seen her and it'll be probably another 2 years or more before we get to see her again.
For now I'm not going to dwell on the fact she has to go home. For now I'm going to embrace the excitement of her coming, the excitement of planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Paul & I are also celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary with a service at church so I've got that to get organized as well. So hang on to your hat we're in for one heck of a ride.
We've got so much catching up to do and so much to put into 36 days that it is certainly going to be run, run, run. She has never met David so this is going to be fun and basically we're trying to put 4 years into those 36 days. It has been 2 years since I've seen her and it'll be probably another 2 years or more before we get to see her again.
For now I'm not going to dwell on the fact she has to go home. For now I'm going to embrace the excitement of her coming, the excitement of planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Paul & I are also celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary with a service at church so I've got that to get organized as well. So hang on to your hat we're in for one heck of a ride.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
What's important?
A very good friend of mine has had a really tough 2008. It has been filled with much joy and much sadness, but she and her family have certainly been and inspiration of living the faith.
It is terribly painful to see someone our love slowly leave this world for the next, yet there is so much anticipation and joy. We feel guilty because we pray the Lord will take them home and away from the pain. We feel great anticipation in knowing that soon they will be whole and without suffering, enjoying the joy of seeing our amazing Saviour. We are filled with so much sadness knowing that soon we won't have our loved one with us here on earth and sometimes we're not ready to say goodbye because we still have too much to say.
When we have a loved one that is preparing to meet the Lord we are given the gift of being able to say all that needs to be said. We are able to say "I love you" and "I'll see you again" and "Good-bye for now". We need to be thankful for that.
Unfortunately we sometimes take it for granted that our friends and family will always be here or at least for today so sometimes we forget to say what's important today putting it off till tomorrow. We get so caught up in life that we forget to say and do whats important. We get caught up with the job, the house, the washing, the cooking, all that stuff that isn't really all that important. What is important is that we take the time to let our family and friends know how we feel about them. We need to take the time to not only tell them, but show them.
Take the time today, because we don't know God's plan and we don't know when He is going to call any of his children home.
It is terribly painful to see someone our love slowly leave this world for the next, yet there is so much anticipation and joy. We feel guilty because we pray the Lord will take them home and away from the pain. We feel great anticipation in knowing that soon they will be whole and without suffering, enjoying the joy of seeing our amazing Saviour. We are filled with so much sadness knowing that soon we won't have our loved one with us here on earth and sometimes we're not ready to say goodbye because we still have too much to say.
When we have a loved one that is preparing to meet the Lord we are given the gift of being able to say all that needs to be said. We are able to say "I love you" and "I'll see you again" and "Good-bye for now". We need to be thankful for that.
Unfortunately we sometimes take it for granted that our friends and family will always be here or at least for today so sometimes we forget to say what's important today putting it off till tomorrow. We get so caught up in life that we forget to say and do whats important. We get caught up with the job, the house, the washing, the cooking, all that stuff that isn't really all that important. What is important is that we take the time to let our family and friends know how we feel about them. We need to take the time to not only tell them, but show them.
Take the time today, because we don't know God's plan and we don't know when He is going to call any of his children home.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Illusion and impression
Every day we make choices, some good and some bad. Sometimes we make a choice we believe in only to realize that it was only an illusion of something we are trying to achieve.
As Christians we are taught that sex outside the marriage is wrong and a sin. Now if a committed couple should innocently spend the night together, in separate rooms, in separate beds are they doing anything wrong? What is the impression they are giving to those that drive past the driveway and see both cars in the drive???
I go to dinner several times with a male friend and alone we end up at his home for a coffee and talk. I'm seen with him, what is the assumption most people would or could make? What am I up to and what am I doing?
As a member of my church leadership board I've made a choice and commitment not to drink alcohol. If I happen to attend cookout with many close friends who know I choose not to drink, but enjoy a non-alcoholic beer, am I wrong to drink one? Maybe, maybe not. What would someone think if they saw a picture of me drinking out of that non alcoholic beer bottle? Could they tell the difference?
I'm standing at a rowdy party, filled with secular people drinking and 'having a good time' a friend of mine asks me to hold their drink while they go get something and my picture is taken as I stubble over rough ground. That picture is then shown to any and all who will look, what is the impression I'm giving?
Now these are extreme cases, but aren't these the same things that happen to our celebrities all the time with gossip magazines and paparazzi? What do we think when we see the headlines and the pictures plastered all over the media?
As Christians we are called to live to a higher standard and we are called to sometimes make difficult choices that go against the norm. Sometimes we don't see the impression we are making, we don't see the whole picture and sometimes we are just creating a illusion for others to see. We must all look into our hearts and know that we may be able to create illusions for those around us. There are no illusions when it comes to God. He knows what we are thinking, what we are feeling and what we are hiding, from Him and from ourselves.
If we are being true to ourselves and true to God, we must look at the whole picture. We must not put ourselves into situations open to interpretations. We must turn our backs to things that can be misconstrued we must stand firm in our faith and in the knowledge that we are the bible in action. We are living examples of God's word.
As Christians we are taught that sex outside the marriage is wrong and a sin. Now if a committed couple should innocently spend the night together, in separate rooms, in separate beds are they doing anything wrong? What is the impression they are giving to those that drive past the driveway and see both cars in the drive???
I go to dinner several times with a male friend and alone we end up at his home for a coffee and talk. I'm seen with him, what is the assumption most people would or could make? What am I up to and what am I doing?
As a member of my church leadership board I've made a choice and commitment not to drink alcohol. If I happen to attend cookout with many close friends who know I choose not to drink, but enjoy a non-alcoholic beer, am I wrong to drink one? Maybe, maybe not. What would someone think if they saw a picture of me drinking out of that non alcoholic beer bottle? Could they tell the difference?
I'm standing at a rowdy party, filled with secular people drinking and 'having a good time' a friend of mine asks me to hold their drink while they go get something and my picture is taken as I stubble over rough ground. That picture is then shown to any and all who will look, what is the impression I'm giving?
Now these are extreme cases, but aren't these the same things that happen to our celebrities all the time with gossip magazines and paparazzi? What do we think when we see the headlines and the pictures plastered all over the media?
As Christians we are called to live to a higher standard and we are called to sometimes make difficult choices that go against the norm. Sometimes we don't see the impression we are making, we don't see the whole picture and sometimes we are just creating a illusion for others to see. We must all look into our hearts and know that we may be able to create illusions for those around us. There are no illusions when it comes to God. He knows what we are thinking, what we are feeling and what we are hiding, from Him and from ourselves.
If we are being true to ourselves and true to God, we must look at the whole picture. We must not put ourselves into situations open to interpretations. We must turn our backs to things that can be misconstrued we must stand firm in our faith and in the knowledge that we are the bible in action. We are living examples of God's word.
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