Monday, January 18, 2010


It’s another new year, another time for reflection. It’s a time when many of us make resolutions, determinations, promises that this year is going to be different from last. Now is the time we look back and realize we’ve made a few wrong turns, a few side trips and we’re not on the road we’d like to be.

For me this is a time to remember how much my life has changed. I’ve been reflecting on how much it has changed in the past 10 years. I mean this time 10 years ago, I was newly wed, pregnant with my first child & living a pretty good life. I was empty on the inside even though this was a tremendously exciting time. I spent way too much money and struggled to keep up with the Jones, whoever they were. Life looked good from the outside, but on the inside there was something missing.

10 years later I’m the mother of two wonderful children. I’ve accepted the love and salvation of an incredibly merciful God. I’m studying to be a deacon and pursue a life of purpose. I’ve lost one of the most influential men in my life and I’ve seen my sister go through the pain of losing her best friend and husband. I’ve seen her struggle with finding herself and with all challenges associated with starting over again. I’ve cared for and lost a terminally ill parent.

I’ve learnt the only absolute in life is God; peace of mind comes from knowing that He is with me and is holding my hand; bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I’ve come to accept life is less complicated if I follow instructions, don’t ask why and place God, my husband and my children above all else. I’ve learnt that looking out the window is far more enjoyable and challenging than looking in the mirror.

I don’t know what this year is going to be like. I know that I’m going to have to choose my attitude in some difficult situations. I’m hoping that I’ve learnt enough over the passed couple of years to choose action over reaction and truth over lies. I’m choosing to believe in the word and not in my feelings and emotions. This is going to be a great year. This is going to be an exciting year. I don’t know where it is headed, but it is going to be one heck of a ride.

1 comment:

Diana said...

Dear one, you are so so so blessed that you have found this wisdom. It doesn't seem fair that when life is good that we should feel that emptiness. Belief, Family, and Frame of Mind are much more important than money and things and dinner on the table at 6 and kitchen swept. No gooey platitudes or Hallmark Cards just a friendly GRATS! for finding this place.